just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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