if you like me you must not know who I am
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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