I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize