I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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