Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize