Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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