I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize