I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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