Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He felt like a one man threesome
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize