The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize