I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize