i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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