I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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