I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize