8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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