All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The adults are the big ones right?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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