Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
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The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
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My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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