i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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