Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
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theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
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I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize