you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
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