Buhtt sex?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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