why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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