hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize