hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
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Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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