the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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