the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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