I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize