Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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