One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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Tornado booty call.. dedication
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize