hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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