My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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