i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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