Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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