If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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