Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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