dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
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I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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