I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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