hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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