You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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