Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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