She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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