do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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