Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize