Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
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I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
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I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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