Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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