I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize