so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize