If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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