I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize