I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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